GPOY today while I’m trying to force myself to ignore my headache and sleepiness and do my 75 dictations so I can be free tomorrow. I may have only done 10 so far……
So it is coming up to the time frame where it’s going to be a week before the exam. Emotions are a little tense, but it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. I actually would like to flip switches.
I think school is interesting because I have friends, I have my roommates, but I still don’t know if I’ve found my niche. My roommates are kind of my people right now, but at the same time I feel like they’re not.
I’m a rather terrible person in regards to being able to explain the feels (hence Daria) - but I’m trying.
It might be… that I’ve found my way into this new hallway / door, but I’m still doing the niceties. I’m still doing that weird arm dance where idk wtf to do with my hands, why are these things even a part of my body. I know I need to enjoy the process, but I want to just… feel like I’m settled already. I think I’m realizing that as much as I like change and new things, I like some kind of familiarity and sense of comfortableness. As much as there’s a part of me that loves to destroy things, I kind of want to keep some of the things that made me happy to continue to make me happy. Being a human is annoying.
Hope everyone else having feelings filled Sunday are taking care of themselves today!
myselfishlonelykingdom asked: Hello, just a quick recommendation, you may like the blog Medical Etymologies. It's about medicine and unique in its kind. Have a nice day :)
Thanks for the recommendation!!! It is super cool!
So here we are post-labor day weekend/post first exam of medical school
current feelings:
1. all right all right!!!! that was TOO bad 2. omg how much harder is this going to be … what if i’m one of those who starts out okay and then completely fail 3. avoid avoid avoid avoid 4. anxiety because of how much avoidance is happening 5. kick myself into working 6. anxiety and constant sour candy eating
In reality - the exam didn’t go as poorly as it really could have, but I am trying to make sure that I stay on top of everything so that I don’t end up knowing only 85% of the material before the exam… I KNOW i sound RIDICULOUS, but let me live out my fantasies until they puff away
anatomy lab is kind of like… ugh. I think I just really appreciate going into lab and being alone at my cadaver while listening to podcasts and dissecting. Do i sound like Bones yet?
we are starting to learn some actually cool stuff in OMM now! Which i think i appreciate - it doesn’t seem as monotonous as before.
everything else has taken a serious backseat - and i am determined to hopefully get caught with all of this weeks lecture this weekend… there are people having get togethers this weekend, but I can’t go because i’m just going to end up being a silent wreck thinking about everything i need to accomplish
I went to cultural competency training event the other day. And actually… it wasn’t uncomfortable, I didn’t hate it, and the conversations were actually extremely eye opening. Everything was presented in a way that didn’t automatically illicit the wall that everyone gets whenever we discuss cultural differences. granted… it was three hours - but I loved the message I think we all ended up taking away at the end. and coming from a job where trainings like this was part of the lifestyle, that’s really saying something. I think I would say that was my highlight of my week 4.
I hope everyone out there is appreciating the hustle and continuously living the dream. To severely paraphrase what this surgical residency director told the young hopeful surgical residents/baby med school students – you have a better chance of getting into the program if you’re a competent, intelligent, and respectful. You have to want it and you have to work for it. Don’t base it off of numbers.
Here’s to continuously going after the crazy dreams and avoiding the haters
It is the eve of my first med school exam and, yes, I shouldn’t be on here, but just gotta get these thoughts down before I forget
-review the lectures that were assigned that day on that day
-DO the lectures that were assigned that day on that day
-try to use board practice questions with your studying if you can
-you are a kinesthetic learner, don’t let all your best learning be done the night before the exam
current status: sitting in a cute coffeeshop listening to protein lecture
We had our activities fair this week and WOW what a flashback to freshman year of college… where you try to sign up for anything and everything. It also doesn’t help when you don’t know what type of doctor you actually want to be.
Anyways - lab has been picking up. The smell of formaldehyde is slowly creeping in, but I am trying to fight it off and still smell like a normal human being most days. It is a hard struggle though. My friend’s friend asked him if I worked in a morgue because I was telling him that I was going to school last night to study “dead bodies”. #thisismedschool
There have been multiple times this week when that thought of - holy crap I’m actually in med school learning skills that I’m going to have to perform sometime later in my career - reallllllllly screwed with my brain. Is this real life?? It’s sometimes unreal.
Other than being conflicted about clubs and smelling like chemicals, class in it of itself hasn’t been too bad. I’m starting my anatomy drawings again, so be prepared for some pics because some of these - if I may say so myself - are gonna be masterpieces :D
My first exams are next week along with our first “patient” interaction. It’s actually me taking vitals and the H&P with a patient actor, but it’s kind of nerve-wracking. Let’s hope I don’t mess up and have to pretend I heard the systolic pulse while I’m taking blood pressure….
Family Medicine - touchy feely save-the-world types who focus on the big picture instead of minutiae.
Ortho - dumb jocks / carpenters
Internal Medicine - super nerds, very inquisitive, thrive on minor details
Radiology - pale hunchbacks hyped up on coffee so they can stay awake in dark rooms in front of screens all day. Always either super quirky or boring as watching paint dry.
Neuro - the nerdiest of all the super nerds
Anesthesiology - the guys who smoked a lot of weed in undergrad…and probably still do. Super chill folks.
ER - adrenaline junkies who function better OFF their ADHD meds. They all drive X-Terras or Jeeps or bike to work.
Psych - A little on the crazy side themselves.
Pathology - Foodies and food obsessed (srsly lots of things in pathology books are named after food). All wear glasses due to prolonged exposure to microscopes
Pediatrics - Colorful socks, bowties, no white coats, and superhero costumes on Halloween. Girl/Guy next door types. Most likely to be seen at ComicCon in cosplay.
Urology - Usually fun loving guys who are everybody’s buddies. And they have so. Many. Weiner Jokes.
PM&R and Sports Medicine - very nice ex-jocks who got a shoulder injury and couldn’t do ortho but who still have active lifestyles. Had difficulty deciding between PT, ortho, and neuro for the rehab components.
OB/GYN - Amazons. Fiercely protective of their patients, and not afraid to chew you out in a heartbeat. But they won’t mess up their makeup while they do it. You’ve seen Mean Girls, right?
General surgery - Workaholics. A chance to cut is a chance to heal.
Kind of makes me want to go into OBGYN instead :P
I’m an OBGyn inside a Family Doc’s body. You push me the wrong way about my patients and my squish dissolves into pure screaming warrior-goddess. (Also a bit of neuro. The only specialty I’d ever have gone for)
Med all the way and a little peds, especially the wardrobe.
This is going to be one of those blogs that I kind of skim over (sorry) because there are too many words in it, but I’m sure there are other people out there who love random people’s musings - so here goes.
Week 1 did not disappoint in it being a roller coaster of emotions and feelings. Orientation was slightly dreadful, yet exciting because the entire time I felt like I had to say - omg you are in med school and these are your fellow med school students - instead of this is just another grad program.
Things started off a little slow, which I extremely appreciate now. Mid-week, however, the shit storm that is med school rained down upon my soul and I may have shed some tears thinking, “why the heck did I really want to do this again? I could’ve been a really hot wife picking sunflowers and working in interior design.” But resilience is the name of the game and the next day I got to use a bone saw, which I surprisingly really liked wielding, and I feel like I can do this … for now anyway.
I feel like I’ve found a solid group of people for now - I appreciate living with roomies because my d&t (dark & twisty) self can definitely be okay with not meeting anyone new so I’m glad I have two bubbly people with me to wake me up for 8am classes (seriously can people stop coming to class so early?).
One of my moments of panic was when I had to take someone’s blood pressure and I couldn’t hear anything…. b/c i’m a baby first year who doesn’t know how to do anything
One of my moments of hey this is awesome was when I used the bone saw… like actually guys. It was pretty cool. Oh and when I dissected out a pretty mean sub-occipital triangle with a lab partner and our prof called over other groups to look at our work.
So yeah - highs and lows. Currently hitting my head against the wall because what is anatomy, but listening to the Amélie soundtrack and writing this is helping me get back to some type of zen. I’m going to try and write weekly reflections because I think it’ll be important for my health later on. Let’s see how this goes - thanks for reading this all the Tumblees out there who like reading word posts
